What is so awesome that it merits pumping your fist victoriously for 16 hours? That would be pumping your fist victoriously for 16 hours. So James Peterson of Akron, Ohio superglued his hand closed and then pumped his arm continuously in an effort to get into the Guinness Book of World Records:

Fist pumping to the song Call Me Maybe by Car

ly Rae Jepsen, Peterson stopped just after 3 a.m. Saturday at Manny’s Pub on Brown Street near the University of Akron.

Peterson, an unemployed electrician from Green and self-proclaimed “veteran fist pumper,” said he did not suffer any serious pain from the 16-hour effort, but “I did get a nasty sunburn on my arm.”

What a maroon.

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